So…last week the Biker Boyfriend and I discovered we had Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday with no commitments. So, it still being in the 90s here, we decided to go to the coast for those days. We have a brand new motorcycle we’ve only had for two months, and we recently purchased a nice “previously owned” motor home. (Don’t ya just love that term – sounds sooooo much better than used.)
Anyway, we put the bike in its own little trailer, packed the RV, and proceeded to hook the trailer to the RV. Low and behold, the lights on the trailer didn’t work properly. Oh they came on alright. When they wanted to and not in any relationship to the commands given by the RV. We took the whole thing to Camping World and convinced them that as we had only recently (less than a month) purchased the RV from them and we were packed and ready to go they should fix it right NOW. So they put the RV in a bay and two hours later had the whole thing rewired and working.
We hooked the trailer back up to the RV, happily left Camping World and got on the freeway. Almost immediately, people driving by were waving at us and pointing to the back of the RV. A big rig pulled in front of us, put on his hazard lights, and slowed way down. The Biker Boyfriend looked in the backup camera and saw that the trailer was no longer hooked to the RV. It was being dragged down the road by the safety chains.
We pulled over, and the shoulder was only just wide enough for the RV. I was standing between the trailer and RV guiding the Biker Boyfriend to back up so we could hook up the trailer again when suddenly the RV lurched. The Biker Boyfriend got out and said, “Oh my God. We just got sideswiped. The RV mirror is gone.” Apparently the shoulder wasn’t quite wide enough. But we hooked up the trailer again, four lanes of rush hour traffic passing by us at 80 MPH. We went to get back in the RV and a man was standing there saying he had hit our mirror. Well, it was nice that he stopped, and his old van had a broken mirror too. The Biker Boyfriend was too shaken to do anything about it so he told the guy to fix his own mirror and we would fix ours. OK, that’s fine, it was just one of those accident things that happen. But I’m guessing that his mirror will cost him about twenty dollars. I figure our mirror, electric, articulated in two places, and with a heating element…a lot more than that. They’re probably have to replace the whole mirror unit, and maybe even the whole door, or even the side panel of the RV, at a cost of half a million or more. You know how those things go.
We headed back to Camping World, but they don’t stock mirrors, it has to be ordered. So the Biker Boyfriend finds a mirror extender that straps onto the side of the existing mirror with two elastic bands. This will work temporarily for a mirror, but he doesn’t trust the elastic bands. Half a roll of duct tape later we look like the Beverly Hillbillies going down the road. We pull into a Kohl’s parking lot so he can change out of his jeans and we can’t get to the clothes closet because we can’t get either one of the slides to open. We decided to continue on. We will just work around the slides that won’t open, because now it’s a matter of principal just to get out of town.
We finally got to Morro Bay campground at 8:30 PM having left home at 1:00 PM – usually a two hour trip. We got the RV set up, miraculously the slides worked, and went to bed. Thursday morning we looked around at the meager supply of food – I wasn’t planning on doing a lot of cooking anyway. And we decided screw the organic cereal with organic, hormone free milk, and raw sugar. We rode into town to the local café where the Biker Boyfriend could have the Heart Attack Happening, and I could get the Cholesterol Special.
Breakfast over, we got on the bike and headed up the Pacific Coast Highway. Fog was just lifting, it was a beautiful day for a ride. A few miles up the road the check engine light comes on, so the Biker Boyfriend gets off at Cayucos and pulls over. He turns off the bike and can’t find anything wrong. So he starts it again, the check engine light is off and we leave. We get only two more blocks, into the center of town, and the check engine light comes back on, he says, “I smell smoke.” Then he pulls over real quick and yells, “Get off the bike.” We both jump off and the motorcycle is frigging on fire. Just underneath where I rest my left foot.
So the Biker Boyfriend is on the ground, blowing on the flames. They go out, but pop back up whenever he stops blowing. Finally he unlocks the saddlebag and grabs a bottle of water and gets the fire out. We let the bike cool down, he starts it up again. No check engine light, so he drives it around the block while I wait. He gets back, everything seems OK, and we figure if it happens again we will call AAA and have it towed back to the campground.
But we learned something. The check engine light comes on when the bike is on fire. That’s a good thing to know.
We rode quite a ways up the PCH. The weather was terrific. The scenery was beautiful. We stopped and watched the elephant seals for a while. Had a great time.
Then as we get back into downtown Morro Bay, he pulls over again and yells, “Get off, it’s on fire again.” Sure enough. Fire is going again. Under the foot rest. We’re pouring water on it. People on the sidewalk are handing us bottles of water. Finally, he gets it put out. We let it cool down and hope we can get it the two more miles back to camp. He starts up the bike…no rear brakes. We limp it back to the campground, park it, and get off. As we are standing there, shaking our heads, wondering WTF is going on…it bursts into flames AGAIN.
We put it out. Park the bike in the trailer. Walk across the street to a hole in the wall restaurant where we had quite possibly the best fish and pasta primavera shrimp we have ever eaten.
And yes we did make it home Friday with no problems. Thank you God. They call Highway 46 across central California to the coast Blood Alley for a good reason.
No this is not my Biker Boyfriend.
It’s Angel Macho.
And this is Adam Rothfelder
My Biker Boyfriend doesn’t quite look like that. But I love him.
Now these guys are doing their part for Breast Cancer Awareness Month by wearing pink.
SO, have you made that appointment yet?
GET THOSE MAMMIES GRAMMED – NOW
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